Wednesday, February 3, 2010

My Big Change

I have wanted to share this with you for a while now, but I wasn't sure how to express the full extent of how life-changing for me this has been.

You know when you ask Jesus into your heart and become one of His how wonderful and peaceful you feel.  You feel like you have to share Him with the world...immediately! 

That's how I feel now (although this is obviously less important and will not last for eternity!).

I feel like a changed woman.  I feel like I need to share it with everybody.  (That right there, that need to share things with everybody, can actually be a character flaw that I have to watch out for....  but you seriously do have to hear this.)

It all started two and a half weeks ago when I was getting ready for a Bunco night at my house.  You know when you have 11 other ladies coming over, your house has to be clean.  (They all say they don't care, but come'on, we all care to some extent.) 

Anyway, Jeremy was sitting on the computer while I was frantically trying to clean the house.  All the while I have three children running a muck and making a mess.  I asked Jeremy what he was thinking and why he wasn't helping when I obviously needed help.

(That lead into another conversation which led me to being upset which led to the beginning of the change.)

I was upset because Jeremy was right (about what we talked about).  I was upset because I knew in my head that I just had to change - I had to stop expecting for my house to be clean and organized if I was willing to put forth the effort to do so. 

I was upset because I didn't want to admit (honestly) that much of my days at home were wasted time on the internet instead of providing for my family.

They say that admitting the problem is the first step.

Step one: check!

Leading up to this, I had been praying for God to give me a different perspecitive on my wifely/motherly/household duties.  They seemed more burdensome than enjoyed and productive.  I didn't feel like I had enough time in a day to complete everything and that I was doing it all wrong. 

I knew there had to be an easier way.

God has a way of humbling you and breaking you down so that He can build you back up better.  I love it!  (Well, I love the building back up part...the breaking down part isn't my favorite.) 

And just for the record, my 'breaking down' part was having to admit that Jeremy was right and I was very wrong.  YUCK!

Now, the building up part was fun!

After realizing that something had to give (and even considering turning the computer completely off for an entire week just to prove that I still couldn't get everything done...ha), I came up with a plan. 

Jeremy and I talked about my problem areas: sleep - wanting too much of it, being on the computer too much in the morning time, being on the computer too much in the evening time, being prepared for the next day, being late to things, etc. 

Since I'm not completely an organization idiot (my house was more organized than my head), I decided to make lists.

My list divided my day and my chores: things to be done in the morning, things to be done during the day, and things to be done in the evening.  Once the things on my list are completed, I'm free to do whatever pleases me - play with my kids, enjoy time with my husband, read a book, get on the computer, talk on the phone, scrapbook, etc. 
The great part about the plan is that I don't feel guilty for doing any of those fun things.  There is a time and a place for everything - including fun...and fun in a clean house (yea!). 
I feel like such a different person! 
No, my new plan doesn't sound so wonderfully life changing (as I'm sure most moms have already figured this out), but I feel like such a more joyful person!  I praise God for changing my perspective! 
My new attitude reflects in my children, also.  Seth's attitude seems to mirror mine (ouch).  But lately it's been wonderful! 
So, for those of you out there who live your wonderful lives stressing about a clean house or what's next on the to-do list - pray for a new perspective!  Or, better yet, let God handle it.

Matthew chapter 11:
25At that time Jesus said, "I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. 26Yes, Father, for this was your good pleasure.

27"All things have been committed to me by my Father. No one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and those to whom the Son chooses to reveal him.

28"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
Praise God for letting us rest in him!  For leading our way!  For carrying our burdens!  And for wanting to do so! 

My new daily prayer is to be yoked to Him - for God to lead my ways and help me carrying life's burden.  What peace comes from Him!

1 comment:

The Kirkwoods said...

funny that I read this today... I just had a little "break down" about this yesterday. This is an awesome post Krista and you are not alone! Sounds like you are doing so well!