Although I did not grow up with any brothers, I feel like I kind of 'get' boys. I let Seth make his mistakes so that he will learn from them. I let him be adventurous. I let him watch daddy hunt (as he and his brothers will have to join daddy someday so that we can have enough meat to feed a family of four boys!).
I understand boys are rough, and I do not wish to make any of our boys too 'soft.'
However, it is not okay to go around pushing or wrestling or jumping on people or 'play' hit or anything else rough. (Even though he tells me, "momma, I was just trying to play with you!")
So, how do you teach boys that it is okay to embrace (for lack of a better word) their 'boyness' but know when it's okay and when it's not acceptable?
Last Wednesday we went to a play date. Seth pushed a little girl down. Awful, isn't it?! I know he was only trying to play and he did not do it to intentionally be mean, but that little girl and her mother probably didn't know the difference!
I am getting so tired of saying "Seth, be gentle; Seth, don't be so rough."
I have thought before about what a great team moms and dads make. I feel like moms teach their boys that it's not okay to hit, etc. and dads teach them to take up for themselves. Although those are mixed teachings, I hope to raise boys that can gain a little from both perspectives and have a good understanding of when certain behavior is and is not acceptable.
1 comment:
Krista, I haven't got this 100% right yet either, but having had one boy for 13 years and now four others....I think you've just got to follow your heart.
I try to teach my boys about balance. That being fun, full of life & frantically busy is great. But that sometimes we must sit still & be quiet, listen to everyone talk during dinner, take turns being the centre of attention. I think these and many, many other lessons take time to teach & to learn.
I turn to my dh for advice all the time. If I had brothers/uncles/a dad or cousins I'd probably turn to them too.
They need to learn to respect girls & women for their intelligence and how we can be great partners in life. That you can be 'just friends' and that men & women are equal. I think all of these things will come with what you choose to teach them, who they are surrounded by and by who they are as individuals...
Lachie came home from Kindy the other day...a little girl had bullied his best buddy...so they sat on her...he said to me "that's what boys do!"...you can imagine we talked about lots of stuff...lots
I'm hoping I get it right 5 times over xx
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